I am not fat
by Harrypotterloveswweandtna
Summary: Edge and his Girlfriend remeber how hot they are


Lauryn was lying on the floor in her bedroom staring at the ceiling the last issue of Pro wrestling magazine laying beside her. She couldn't believe what was in that stupid magazine.

That Stupid Candice Michelle...tramp...had done this stupid interview about something... stupid and she called Lauryn fat! Her Lauryn"Legs" Mckay! Her legs were "43" inches long that's inch and a half longer than Stacy Keibler's legs.

Lauryn wasn't trying to find Candice but... well...she saw her name so of course she looked. and Candice called her FAT! Lauryn admitted that she wasn't the thinnest diva but she certainly wasn't fat,and she had nothing against overweight people she'd been through a chubby stage in the 80's but she wasn't fat now and plus she had been working out alot more now.

She stood up and looked at her self in her tall mirror.

She gasped as she saw a stretch mark on her left leg !

"NO,NO,NO! THIS CANNOT BE HAPPENING, I'M ONLY THIRTY SI- TWENTY SEVEN! She looked at her self once again. Her leather shorts and black Rated R Superstar shirt did look tighter then they did last year.

She ran an unsteady hand through her long brown hair and saw a minuscule patch of gray hair.

"OH MY GOD!" she yelled she began to pace around the room. "I hate Candice Michelle, she just skips her way into the wwe with her little diva search friends,they all make me sick,they're a bunch of ho's,flusies and a bunch of other things i can't repeat. And now she's calling me fat. ME!"

She walked over to her wall phone she needed to talk to someone. She placed the cordless phone in between her ear and shoulder so she could pace some more. "So who should I call?" she said walking past the mirror catching a glimpse of her shirt.

"Adam ." She said not waiting for him to say hello first,it takes up too much time and she was having a crisis. "Lauryn?"He had just been working out she could tell.

"I need you to come over it's an emergency." "What's wrong?"

"No time to explain just come over, please." "Alright i'll be there soon." "Thanks babe."

Ten minutes later Adam walked into Lauryn's room thankful that he hadn't forgotten his key this time.

Lauryn noticed him in the mirror and turn around.,"Do i look fat to you?

"N-".

"LIES- WHAT IS HE HERE FOR?" she said noticing one of her friends, Captian Charisma:Christian or Jay.

"What, no hi ?" Jay said shaking his head.

Lauryn thought for a minute before deciding he could stay,More people to lash out on. Right?

"Do i look fat to you?"

Since he new her for so long he knew not to say anything too stupid and the best answer was silence."

"Jay, do you here me talking to you?"

" I can't answer that question."

"SO YOU DO THINK I'M FAT."she yelled.

"Wait,first whats going on? Adam asked.

Lauryn started whimpering,"Candice...Me...Fat...ME... I'M HOT...I'm not!

Adam and Jay exchanged knowing looks since they both know her so well they could easily decode her rant's and it kinda helped that they had seen the interview.

"Ok look... not everyone can look like Candice" Jay started unsure what else to say and looking at her now, both he and Adam noticed that her outfit did look tighter than they did last year ago. But of course he saw it in a different light than Adam because Jay saw it as, "Wow she is fat."

Adam on the other hand was happy because unlike Jay he noticed that it was only her butt and her bust that got larger and she was a hour glass shape like she was before she lost all her weight and got those super rock hard abs.

Have you ever tried to cuddle with abs- not easy .

"Jay could you excuse us for a little bit?",Adam said inching closer to Lauryn.

"Why?" Adam rolled his eyes, "Because I said so." "No you're always kicking me out I want to be included because if haven't noticed im also in this relationship." If you haven't guessed already Jay is kind of slow. Adam pinched the bridge of his nose"Just.. leave."

"Fine but don't expect a ride home",Jay said running down the stairs.

"What?" Lauryn said noticing Adam looking at her.

"You.. look... beautiful."

"I...look...fat."

Adam snaked his arms around her waist. "What do i have to do to prove it to you?",His cocky face on display.

Lauryn thought for a minute,"Let me kill Candice."

"What does that have to do with being good looking?"

"You see before Candice came along I was the most beautiful woman in the world ,and then Candice came and now it's all Candice Candice Candice!

"But Lauryn you are the most beautiful woman in my eyes." Adam said. He really thought he had had fixed the pJaylem when he saw her face soften slightly.

"NOBODY CARES WHAT'S IN YOU'RE EYES!"

Adam's signature smirk faded, he was offended. **WARNING: **_**You might want to take notes the following is what happen's when you have two equally self centered people in a relationship**_.

Hey,hey,hey just because you're fat dosen't mean that you can insult perfection.

"Oh so i'm fat now?"

"Maybe."

"Ok well that's why your nose is crooked."

The Rated R superstar was hurt "That was a birth defect and you know it."

Lauryn stared at him for a minute before once again falling to the floor in tears .

Adam got down on one knee beside her. "I'm old and fat and you won't want to be seen with and old fat woman." she said in between sobs. Just then he thought of the perfect thing to say.

"Hey who cares if you're fat you look great to me-I mean how old are you 20-25?."

Lauryn smiled," Babe I really look 20?" "Yeah"

She stood up and walked to the mirror,"I guess I do look pretty good don't I?

"Yeah you do" he ran his fingers through her hair.

"Your nose isn't crooked it's just not perfectly straight and I like it that way." she said kissing his nose.

"I know, how people call us bad looking we're the hottest couple in the wwe."

"Yeah we are in fact we're the Brangelina of the wwe."

"I think we're hotter than Brangelina." he said shaking his head in that special way of his.

"Yeah we are and Brad pitt wishes he had a body like yours."Lauryn said squeezing his bicep.

"Yeah he does and I bet Angelina want's your body too."

"I love me" she muttered before giving him a small kiss.

"I love me too" he sighed knowing that they really meant I love you.

Because lying is the true symbol of love


End file.
